‘I’ve always been the outsider’: No-contact parents sneak back into daughter's life and request the money she made off of selling her home, despite draining her savings account years earlier

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 13, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

Some people aren't lucky enough to be born into families with considerate parents who will go above and beyond to do right by them. Even when you think things are going swimmingly, you're reminded of every reason why you decided to cut them off in the first place. It's painful going no-contact with people you share genetic bonds with, but it's often necessary when it's affecting your mental health. Doing what's best for you is always the best option.

The daughter who posted this story explains that she had to go no-contact with her family after years of feeling like the black sheep. Her parents drained her savings account and gave it to her younger brother without her consent. After building a great life for herself, she decided to sell her home and make some good money. Her parents crept back into the woodwork and are now requesting a part of the sum of the sale, and she refuses to do so. She has no idea where to go from here.

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  • 01
    eric PB 14467 OOL 100
    via Unsplash+ (Kateryna Hliznitsova)
  • 02
    AITA for relocating without telling my parents and siblings and refusing to give my brother a house down payment?
    via Reasonable_Wave5061
  • 03
    I (33f) am relocating out of my home state in 2 weeks. I went no contact with my parents and siblings nearly 4 years ago shortly after I purchased my current home. My parents are very blue collar and grew up with only brothers. My brother is the
    via Reasonable_Wave5061
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    only boy, the baby, autistic, and named his only son after my brother who passed away. He gets everything. My sister is very masculine, blue collar, lesbian. I'm white collar, educated and very girly.
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    My entire life I've always been the outsider and they made sure I knew that, harshly. It was worse whenever I succeeded in life. No contact with them was the best thing I could've ever done for my mental health and I'll never go back unless they're all in intensive therapy.
    via Reasonable_Wave5061
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    Fast forward to this week they found out I'm relocating out of state and selling my home. Naturally, the horrific texts have rolled through and are extra special. They know what I bought it for and a simple search they
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    will know what I'm selling for. They're "hurt" I didn't tell them and want the money they gifted me to get my home to give my brother.
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    I refuse to give them any access to my life. They gifted my sister her down payment and me but unable to for my brother. Of course they think I'm an AH and a few more nice choice words. My
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    cousin and uncle say I should give the money because it's only 1/3 of my proceeds. I refuse. They gave MY savings account to him that I had been building for years.
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    But, I'm second guessing my decision to not tell them where I'm going or giving them the money back. I'm still their daughter and they want to know my whereabouts. My brother has a 3 yr old son and 1 year old daughter. It's expensive where we are and I want the kids to have stability. So, Am I TAH?
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    EDIT TO ANSWER COMMON QUESTIONS: I am no contact. I do not initiate or engage with them at all. I don't have them blocked due to they will text me about important family updates like my uncle d d, or was
    via Reasonable_Wave5061
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    diagnosed with Alzheimer's. (I have 11) Also for evidence if needed for an injunction of harassment or something else which has been the case in 2021. They found out through a family member who has early
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    Alzheimer's. I will not go no contact or scold someone with a horrible di ase over this. The savings account was a conservator account from when my brother and I got a settlement as babies. We both needed to be 18 and a court order to withdraw
    via Reasonable_Wave5061
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    but could add. I took advantage of it by adding birthday and chore money. My mom managed to get the court order for both when my brother turned 18, I was 19 and the bank gave her the funds. She gave it to my brother. I've no idea why she did and can only guess.
    via Reasonable_Wave5061
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    Where Werethe... • 2d ago So much NTA. If you give them anything, it will never stop. Read your post, they stole your money to give it to their golden child. Thieves do not deserve or get anything.
    via WhereWeretheAdults
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    You are taking the absolutely best thing you can. Leave, don't tell them anything. They don't get to know where you are going, where you are living, you might even consider a new phone number you don't give them. They don't deserve to be part of your life.
    via WhereWeretheAdults
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    If they had wanted a loving daughter, they would have. treated you like one.
    via WhereWeretheAdults
  • 18
    . lemon_charlie 2d ago. Easy NTA. They only reach out to diminish your achievements or to take from you. They should be doing some soul searching about why they were left out of the loop instead of adding up the cut they expect from your house sale. You've said No Contact has been good
    via lemon_charlie
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    for you, keep it going and don't give them any information or money. The savings account stolen from you can already account for the proceeds cut they want.
    via lemon_charlie
  • 20
    mdthomas • 2d ago . Any money they GIFTED to you was yours to do with as you wish. If they wanted it to have conditions, they should have made a contract. NTA
    via mdthomas
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    Nearly_Pointless • 1d ago Do they want to know your whereabouts because they're concerned and interested in your life or do they want to know your whereabouts because they think you're source of money?
    via Nearly_Pointless
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    BombshellBre95 · 1d ago NTA. But they shouldn't even have access to you now, especially if you went. NC. Keep it that way. Block their numbers, ignore them, and continue with the sale of your home and move forward with your life. If they continue to harrass you,
    via BombshellBre95
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    take them to court. If they continue to harp on you paying them back, then reverse it and ask them for your childhood savings back. Two can definitely play that game. Good luck with everything OP!
    via BombshellBre95

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